i thought of this poem on the drive home, from phoenix

these long drives alone really give you time to think. more useful processed thoughts on the open road than just, sitting at home. i'm able to think where my life is heading more. all my options come into focus in a two hour car ride. to go to school, where my love life could go, where my job can go, or even if i should stay with my job. even where my living situation could end up. too bad all of my thoughts just cant happen. it would be nicer, to have everything done in two hours, over thought of in two hours. i never feel more alone, than driving 2 hours on the open road.

i wrote this in a journal first. about 2 months ago.

I don't know what I should do, I've seen enough I think I'm through. I'm cashing in my chips today, pack up my bags, drive away. Where to go? I don't know. This city sucks, time to end the show. Up all night, sleep all day, in my room wasting away. What are the answers? I don't know, cash my chips, it's time to go.

phobia's taking place.

egrophobia
hagiophobia
homilophobia
tyrannophobia

antisocial wasted night

so i guess this is the new live journal. time to hop on this band wagon. just another place to post about depression and late night thoughts of the previous day. a place to reflect on the wasted efforts i make to try and get ahead, even though i know i won't anytime soon. i'm starting to think maybe i should just go back to school and try and do something with myself. i need to learn how to make what i want to happen, actually happen, instead of being so down on myself that i don't want to do anything but come home and watch movies, and have the occasional drunken night.